funymunky
Posts : 157
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Join date : 2011-12-14
 |  Subject: Zombie based Fan Fiction  Sat Jan 07, 2012 2:31 am | |
| I started writing a fan fiction for The Dead Linger (Great looking game, you should check it out if you like Project Zomboid or other zombie survival games) and wanted some critique on it. I just have the introduction so far, but I would like to know if I should continue with what I have or just scrap the project. I plan on doing some sort of countdown towards Z-Day, talking about how the zombies formed. Enjoy this short snippet! - Spoiler:
Life flickered throughout Hawkins Street. The cawing of crows echoed through the buildings, the flapping of their wings as they adjusted to a new position. From where the sounds originated, one could not tell; a thick shadow had fallen over the street weeks prior and had not dissipated. Light harshly cut through the darkness and illuminated the street. The crows hastily flew away from their snacks and off into the haze.
The sound of footfalls and heavy breathing followed the movements of the light source. Then a new sound, perhaps the most dreadful of all, penetrated the air. Scrambling and shuffling, the sound of hundreds of old, weary feet dragging across the asphalt. Never quieting, never slowing in its pace, the scraping and shuffling sounds chased the light. Soon, more followed, then more, then more, until the entire street was filled with the ubiquitous sound of encroaching death. Suddenly, the light fell to the ground, followed by the sound of a heavy thump on the ground. The shuffling continued, unflinching, until they finally came upon the now desperately scrambling backwards figure that held the light. Screams pierced the night, startling the crows as they sat upon the buildings.
As the shuffling died down, the light flickered, and darkness filled the street again.
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Michael
Admin
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Join date : 2011-12-13
| | Subject: Re: Zombie based Fan Fiction Sat Jan 07, 2012 6:10 am | |
| Hmm. I like the writing style and the mood it creates, but it reads more like a poem than a narrative. And it also took me a minute to figure out what the light was. You may want to focus more on characters than the general atmosphere. | |
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funymunky
Posts : 157
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Join date : 2011-12-14
| | Subject: Re: Zombie based Fan Fiction Sat Jan 07, 2012 3:57 pm | |
| Don't worry, that was just the introduction. I wanted the beginning to kind of set the mood for the zombie apocalypse, not necessarily focus on the people. The rest of the story will have characters and such. | |
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Michael
Admin
Posts : 289
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Join date : 2011-12-13
| | Subject: Re: Zombie based Fan Fiction Sat Jan 07, 2012 9:52 pm | |
| I'm curious to see what you come up with for the finished story. | |
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